3 Quotes That Changed My Life

I’ve seen a few people writing blogs about the few things they’ve had said to them that have stuck in their head and either motivated or inspired them, so I thought I’d give it a go. I’ll give you the line, then I’ll give you the explanation.

“If I never see you again, I hope you keep singing.”

This was sweet. It was said to me by a total, and I can only guess a little bit drunk, stranger back in my second year of university when I was at the Student Union’s karaoke night. It’s no big secret that I get pretty awful stage fright and normally the only way you’ll ever hear me singing is via a video-less audio clip on YouTube. But I was a few drinks down and decided why not? I blasted out Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You and even got a few cheers when I finished. I hope they were cheers about my singing and not that I’d stopped. As soon as it was over I had to dash outside to calm myself down and give myself a pat on the back for not crumbling during.

Stood outside, there was a guy about my age having a cigarette. He turned to me and said in a very American accent, “I was just in there. If I never see you again, I hope you keep singing.”

I had to walk off but I had the biggest grin on my face. To this day, I still use that as motivation every now and again to keep practicing. I’ll admit, I don’t perform in public still, but I’m slowly building confidence. So thank you, drunk American man. You really made my night.

“We’ve been together three days and we’ve only had sex three times.” – And no, he wasn’t making a joke. He was angry. This was said in an argument.

I don’t try to hide the fact that my last relationship was a bad one. But I was so besotted with him at the time that I was pretty much blind to how toxic the relationship was. His needs were always before mine, in both my eyes and his, and I ended up being pushed to the limits of my mental stability. I was doing things I was uncomfortable with, that upset me and made me feel small just to try and make him happy.

Until one day, while I was visiting him (a £30 train ticket each time I did so, might I add, and he rarely offered to visit me), he turned around and said he felt unloved and that there was no connection in our relationship. 

Then he came out with “We’ve been together three days and we’ve only had sex three times.” 

Don’t get me wrong, this was followed up with some pearlers like “This isn’t a relationship. You can cuddle and kiss with a friend,” and when I said “what about wanting to spend your life together?” he responded with “You can do that with anyone” but that 3 times in 3 days is what always sticks out. I’m no expert but 3 times in 3 days is a reasonable amount for anyone.

That one sentence opened my eyes to what he was really all about. It took me two years to realise. The argument that followed finally knocked my head into the right space and I realised I had to stop. I loved him, it wasn’t easy. I wrote break up note after break up note but couldn’t tell him, until eventually he messaged me while we were apart, saying that the relationship wasn’t fun and that I didn’t send those sorts of pictures anymore and that I didn’t make time for him now that I had finally got myself a job. So when he got into another hissy fit about how he was done with us if I wasn’t going to put in the effort, I just let him go. Then blocked him entirely and finally got my life back, got my mental health sorted and started enjoying the life I wanted again.

“I couldn’t force you into it. You had to get there on your own.”

My mum has been a fountain of wisdom and knowledge over the years and it’s very hard to pick out what stood out to me most. I think perhaps it’s this quote. Although this quote can be pretty much applied to any part of my life, my mum said it to me after I came back from the gym one day to tell her I’d managed to drop the best part of a stone.

Thing is, I knew my mum knew how unhappy I was with my appearance to the point I had anxiety about going out and about. I know it upset her to see me struggling. She could have very well marched me to the gym, forced me to run but she knew it was something I needed to get right in my head if it was really something I wanted to change. She sat with me when I cried, she bought me both vegetables and takeaways regardless, but she let me do the growing up.

It’s a very important life lesson that I took from what my mum said, and I didn’t realise what the lesson was until she said it. Your life is your own. You can’t have people telling you how to live your life forever. If you want something to happen, and something to stick, then the motivation and the strength have to come from you and no one else.

Those are the three that really stick out. Of course there have been others, and of course they also inspired me. Pretty much anything anyone has said to me has altered the way I think, so let's not forget everything my friends have ever taught me and the countless lessons from my family.

You know what, this post was pretty fun to think about. If I remember any more, super important quotes or just ones that really motivated me I'll definitely come back and add them.

Until next time,

Sarah~